I'm happier.

Yesterday was really great. Felt so damn happy the whole day. Like finally.

Flag day then off to Darius' place with Miyuki, Victoria, Zoey and Ryan to study and do some stuff(: Finished up and walked to Yew Tee MRT with Zoey(: She talked to me about certain things that got me thinking. It seems like whenever Zoey talks to me, she gets me thinking. Which is a good thing though, because if I don't think about certain things, I won't be able to realize it.

So yeah, obviously they asked me to go back to church. I was scared. Scared of the questions that I will be asked when I'm there. Scared that I'll get a lecture. Scared of telling them the reason why I stopped coming. Scared of people judging me. But I was told to be honest. Sadly I'm not a super open minded person.

It's been three months since I last went to IGNYTE. I wasn't the one that counted, it was Zoey! HAHA. Yeah. There's only one reason why I didn't go back. It's because I gave up looking for God. But I still believe there's a God. I've been finding ways to get to God. But somehow it's like searching for a pin in a haystack. So I gave up. Gave up knowing my purpose in life. Gave up having a relationship with God. Gave up being that someone who could save lives for God. I see no point in it anyway. Someone said it was happier leaving. True. But. Being happier doesn't mean you're the happiest. Kinda hard to explain but I will try to another time.(: