It's killing me.

"I've loved you from the first time I saw you. I think I was 12. It took me three years to pluck up courage to speak to you and I was so scared of the way I felt, you know, loving a girl, that I learned how to become a sarcastic bitch just to make it feel normal. I screwed guys to make it go away, but it didn't work. When we got together, it scared the shit out of me, because.. you were the one person who could ruin my life. I pushed you away and made you think things were your fault, but really I was just terrified of pain. I screwed that girl, Sophia, to kind of spite you for having a hold on me and I'm a total fucking coward because I got these tickets to Goa for us three months ago. But I couldn't stand.. I didn't want to be a slave to the way I feel about you. Can you understand? You were trying to punish me back, and it's horrible. It's so horrible because, really, I'd die for you. I love you. I love you so much it's killing me." - Naomi.