I'm not surprised.

I'm mentally and physically tired. I've been headfucked for the past five months. But I have no clue of what to do.

I'm not happy. And I never was. The truth is, I really don't know what I'm feeling right now. I don't know whether I'm happy or sad. Whether I'm full of hate or I'm in love. I can never confirm my feelings.

Many people are telling me different things. I don't know who to trust. I don't know which to choose, my head or my heart. Whatever I do, people will judge. The stupid thing is, I listen to what they want me to be. But sometimes, people can never be satisfied. I guess I'm a puppet. I'm unsure of my feelings and I let people control me.

Really stupid. I know. But fuck it man.

Ignorance.

If I'm a bad person, you don't like me
Well, I guess I'll make my own way
It's a circle, a mean cycle
I can't excite you anymore
Where's your gavel? Your jury?
What's my offense this time?
You're not a judge, but if you're gonna judge me
Well, sentence me to another life

Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
'Cause you know we're not the same
We're not the same
Oh we're not the same
Yeah, the friends who stuck together
We wrote our names in blood
But I guess you can't accept that the change is good

Well you treat me just like another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out

Ignorance is your new best friend

And this is the best thing that could've happened
Any longer and I wouldn't have made it
It's not a war, no, it's not a rapture
I'm just a person, but you can't take it
The same tricks that, that once fooled me
They won't get you anywhere
I'm not the same kid from your memory
Well, now I can fend for myself

Ignorance by Paramore. This song made me fall in love with Paramore again. Every sentence. I mean it. Especially the ones in bold. ESPECIALLY.
This song is dedicated to whoever hates me. Peace. _l_

gonna do this after exams so this blog can be kept alive.

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- The meaning behind your blog name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about blogger and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you/you have hurt recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Who are you?

when's my strike three?

My mind's having a riot. It was so messy that I think my demon woke up. Apparently, she might be uncontrollable. Guilt filling my heart, depression going through my head. I feel very uncertain whenever I wake up every day. It's like I'm living in fear.

I'm a disappointment to everyone. I can't bottle it up anymore. I've gone through countless shit. And I'm always the one who has to give in first. Always. When will it be my turn? To wait for others to apologize to me first? It's just like asking for fuck first and they'll give it to me.

I'm sorry if I'm a fucking burden in your lives.

annoying brick.

Hello. You know me, you link me. You don't know me? Have a nice life.